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Looking
back on the past three months... I am concerned.
What
was I thinking ? I know what I was thinking - but, man !
What was I thinking ?! My bank account had just been replenished.
I was on track testing materials for the paintings, gathering
information, planning out the first ten foot by 7 foot prototype
painting. Everything was in place to dedicate myself to
painting. I had just purchased and built a ten foot by twelve
foot wall addition to my studio, specifically for this painting.
I was about to re-roof the studio and weather proof the
painting space. But the roofing was going to have to wait.
Something big was knocking at my door of opportunity.
It
started with a phone call from a friend and longtime business
associate with whom I have always had an exciting creative
interplay. He had just met and dealt with people in the
bodybuilding / diet supplement industry and was working
with a formulation of Creatine that would 'rock the industry.'
For the Labels and for the key market branding, he wanted
to use my characters that I had created for the former San
Francisco, Market Street Gym. We brainstormed a name for
the line and settled on a hefty royalty arrangement that
had me thinking, "years of financial support for the
Freedom ART Project !!!!" I was locked in to this deal
- the prototype painting could wait. After all, this would
financially free me to pursue the paintings without interruptions.
I
thanked God for this awesome support and could not believe
how things were turning around. I put money into my main
computer and beefed up its speed and memory to handle the
large files I would be working with.
So
to get to the short of it: three months of working on labels,
life size point of purchase displays, variations, label
and character designs for a woman's product equivalent ...
and the product is dropped. It wasn't my friends fault.
We ended up on the; multiple corporation volley, negotiate
past the political egos, hide and seek distribution channel
possibilities, ever expanding partners (shrinking royalty
share), egotistical blind chemist, third party restructuring,
new game plan nightmare ROLLER COASTER !
Of
course, for the past three months, I did all the work on
spec, because the royalty was so very promising... after
all, the paintings would be set free ! Right ?
I
need an aspirin.
Now,
again my money is dwindled. I have less than 3 months before
my overhead will finish eating what is left. There is not
enough money for the prototype. The Genesis Prototype will
cost me $15,000 in materials, outside labor, and overhead
costs for the 2 months it will take to paint. I no longer
posses half that.
I
was in a Bible Study group for scriptural handling of finances.
Did you know, that the Bible contains 2,350 verses on how
to handle money? There are approximately 500 verses on prayer,
and less than 500 verses on faith? According to writing
in the course Study Introduction," Jesus said more
about money than any other subject." Just last week,
the parable of the 'master and talents', was discussed (Matt
25:14-30). Fear, like lightening, shot through me.
This
parable told by Jesus was hitting me too close to home,
so to speak. I was given the Compaq job and $20,000 - what
did I do? Did I apply it to God's work - did I use it to
increase my gifts in His service? No - in a sense I had
buried it, despite my intention to increase my savings with
the label job, I did not use the money for what I was told
to do in painting the 66 paintings. Now the money is nearly
gone. I am thinking of having all I was given, taken away,
as in the parable. And the line about gnashing of teeth...
I blew my opportunity. I have been told to snap out of it.
I have been told I am 'being attacked'.
My
thoughts are - what are the chances of such a blessed opportunity
as that Compaq job occurring again? I had a golden opportunity
... and I blew it. I am going to have to scrap the prototype
painting.
I
am truly feeling sick.
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