I have been taking on little commercial jobs the past couple months; small time takers, here, there - little jobs to keep the wolf at bay, or, the 'roaming lion'. I wasn't going to do this- take on small commercial art jobs. But these each take a day - no more. A day here, a day there. It adds up (in many ways). And I am not painting or even drawing studies for paintings. I have not kept up on my Bible reading, or study. To my anguish, I have not been relying on the Lord - nor have I been waiting on Him. I have accepted detours of work, and taken my support into my own hands. I am not saying this is a good thing. It certainly is not good for the Project, as it has been a delay. I am concerned again about the financial situation. This is starting to sound like a broken record (or a skipping CD). God showed Himself provident last time I ran out of money. I know that He can do anything - I am not doubting His power. I know that He can - I am not sure that He will. I keep thinking about the Talent Parable. What if I blew it? Just check out the Old Testament some time, and see what happens when there is a lack of obedience - quick example is King Saul... Maybe I am worrying far too much, but ... my obedience has been lacking.

Well this is good -- reading what I just wrote, I am like a man digging a hole to bury himself in while he is still living. Forget it ! Only one thing to do: Pray - don't look at the future, just see the present - follow what I must do for he Project (study, sketch, develop the web site) - be undeterred and keep faith in the Lord. Yes - that all adds up to one thing ! Resolve to walk with God, no matter what.

I like this verse set: Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? "If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."
Gen 4:6-7 (NASB)