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Yes
it was a risk. After a year and a half of planning various
ways to support my efforts in my fashion - the burdens were
gaining and the rewards were minimal at best - I found myself
almost out of money (again) with no means of support. With
two months of overhead in my bank account, and a Blessing
Card bank loan still needing to be satisfied, I dropped
the merchandising effort, the non-profit corporation educational
effort, the faith community web site - all the things I
had hoped to be support industries for my painting project
- gave them all up as a means of security to paint. Not
just paint, but to be obedient to my calling. My thoughts
were this, if I am going down, then I am going down happy.
"Paint Clouds. Put Them
In Crosses." That is what I heard. And as I constantly
state in my journal - if God's hand is truly in this, he
will have to provide my means and a way that I may meet
His mandate. It made no sense that if I would just paint,
I would be taken care of, on God's terms.
Well, I have been painting
almost everyday. I haven't painted for myself in over two
years and I certainly haven't painted this prolifically
since 1989!
In fact - I can't stop the
flow of ideas. I am plugged in.
I don't know how, but my
goal is to get to August and then sell the new work to raise
money for my European tour. I plan to have a lap top, digital
camera, pencils and paper on this tour. My trip will be
documented and uploaded to the internet every few days.
I am seeking to deepen my understanding of art in relation
to worship and the Spirit / soul of man, and to investigate
Sacred Space.
I had been praying for help
in this matter.
Today I had a visit from
a dear friend whom I have seen once in 20 years prior to
today. She called me out of the blue the week before to
say she would be in Southern California and wanted to know
if I had time to get together.
Today, She and I went representing
the Blessing Card line to various church bookstores and
Sonshine Books - a large Christian Bookstore in Orange County.
I want to liquidate the $18,000 of card inventory that I
am sitting on. This will help me get to Europe. When all
was said and done - the line was rejected. Of those who
commented - the line was too "artsy" or the Hebrew
was intimidating and unreadable to English speaking customers.
No one took the line on as a viable product to their stores.
Janine felt discouraged.
I felt vindicated. I had a feeling that for the past year,
God was closing doors on my efforts to support myself my
way and forcing me to rely on Him and be obedient to painting
what I was told (for His purpose). This foray into retail
sales solidified my decision to keep painting.
Well, Janine had an idea
that she threw by me the day before- to gather together
some of my smaller works, if I had any - she thought she
could sell them. I found various pieces sitting in a stockpile
of older unfinished, sanded down, regessoed, cut-up works
and gave them to her for what ever ... She wanted me to
give them a price, which after some goading, I finally did
- $125 / 300 / 600 / 100 / etc.
Who knows?
May continued
- Who Knows Indeed ! ... >>
5.4
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