Beast of Burden
Kill the Beast!

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matt 11:28-30 (ASV)

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV)

I Quit
This recent decision to quit has shocked many closest to me and it is a bit like eating crow for all my ambition has excited many a heart.

But this "quit" thing is a trimming and a pruning and it is healthy for me to continue. Let this be a recording of my continued revelation, and my continued bad habit of visionary thinking.

Confession: I have a FAITH problem.
That's right, I keep thinking that God will not provide for me. I keep hearing the voices of my past mocking me for waiting on the Lord. I see others I know who have built up their businesses and now have the money from their success to do what they will. I too, fall back on the belief that I must provide the way for my own security - and ways I know of are the ways advocated, tried and proven true, of the world.

Slowly, the weight of my endeavors have gotten heavier until I can only crawl. Above me the responsibilities of several businesses, breaking my back, and no interested parties to help build a solid truss. I found myself too often asking, "what am I doing?" or stating in privacy," I don't know what I am doing or how to do this alone!" And it has dawned on me like a beautiful sunrise, that I was never asked to do all the things I have set up to do. I was only told to, "Paint Clouds. Put them in Crosses", and given the idea for the show of the 66 Paintings. Every thing else I have added on to the Freedom ART Project, has been my way of building a security. Why?? yes why. Because I lack faith that God will provide for my obedience.

Gone (or rather I am told to just, put them on hold) is the merchandising "empire" - Gone is the Non Profit Foundation / Educational "crusade" - Gone is the Online Christian Community of Faith -- Gone is the Counseling and Encouragement for people's callings -- Gone is the PR campaign to raise Project awareness -- Gone is the appeal to churches and communities to raise money for the Big Paintings -- GONE is my anxiety of management, pain from apathetic responses, lack of help - Gone Gone Gone. Now I can get back to studying the Bible with the intent to reflect what I learn into my Painting studies. The websites will remain - but they are also being trimmed to reflect my trimming. Gone is the Devotional Section relying on writings for ministers and Pastors Etc. - (none of whom have participated of the 50 + that I contacted, including our own and ex- pastors). Gone is my study section of the devotions. Gone is the New Art Development section. Enter the Living Spirit section which will be about people and people can send me their own writing if they want their story published. There, too, I will add the E-blessings. I am changing the wording through out the Freedom ART Project Online web-site to reflect my changes.

Gone is my dependence on my ways and the ways of the world. Gone is my pursuit of the education and merchandising businesses to support my painting efforts. And I feel liberated for letting them go. They were out of my jurisdiction and ability. God blessed me with creative vision. Now for the hard part, stepping out in faith and reliance on the Lord to provide me the means and the way. It is important that I be obedient, despite my lack of understanding. If anything the Bible stresses, is obedience. Most of the trouble we live with is from lack of obedience to God. Just start with Genesis and work your way through the "Good Book."

Reflection of a Financial Year
What has tipped me off? In the past year and a half, all my efforts to support myself and gain security and funds for the Paintings have grossed a little over $2000 and cost me over $50,000. to do it - not to mention my time, which was immense and more costly than the money I spent. Some business success I am. So I am admitting this in public at the risk of being a fool in this world of shrewd facade. I made a commitment to documenting the journey of the Freedom ART Project - good and the bad, and the embarrassing - if only to reveal God's Glory in the process. In the past year and a half, the money I have received has come from a couple of commercial jobs that were unsolicited by me and a quarter came form an inheritance-- all increments came when my funds had dropped below $300. in my bank account. Journal documentation on this can be found at: http://www.freedomartproject.org/j_2000_1_20.htm and;
http://www.freedomartproject.org/j_2000_9_06.htm and;
http://www.freedomartproject.org/j_2001_3_27.htm, and elsewhere.

I realize that I have been in this boat many a time - this stormy boat, panicking to wake a Jesus calm enough to be sleeping. I know that I must be obedient. I know that despite the goodness of the ideas that I am putting aside, The Foundation for the Biblical Arts, The Blessing Cards, etc. - they have occupied me enough to keep me from reading and studying the Bible and drawing any new imagery for over a year! Inspired by the Catholic liturgical focus on Death and Resurrection, I am nailing all the good ideas to the cross - if God wants any of them to come to pass, let Him resurrect them. I will then be happy and glad to add to them under His providence and will.

Any prayers are appreciated.